There is a lot of choice, and most of it is described in language that doesn't help. Here are five plain questions to work through before you buy.
1. What do you want it to do?
Start with the sensation, not the shape.
- External. Wands and compact vibrators work on the outside of the body. A wand is a common first choice because it is easy to hold and easy to control.
- Internal. Curved vibrators are designed to be used inside the body, and the curve is there for a reason. Look for a smooth, tapered tip.
- Both. Dual-action toys combine the two. They are lovely, but they ask a little more of you, so many people save them for a second purchase.
If you are not sure, an external toy is a gentle place to begin.
2. What is it made of?
This matters more than anything else on the box. Look for a material that is named, and for soft, non-porous materials such as silicone. If a listing only says "body-safe" and never says what the toy is made of, ask. Our guide to what body-safe means goes into this in more detail.
3. How much control do you want?
More modes is not always better. A toy with a few clear speeds and a couple of buttons is easier to use in the moment than one with a menu to learn. Check how the controls work before you buy: can you change the setting without looking?
4. How loud is it?
Most people care about this, and most listings skip it. If quiet matters to you, say so when you contact the shop. A toy that is hard to use because you are worried about the sound is not a good fit, however well it is made.
5. How will you charge and clean it?
Rechargeable toys save you hunting for batteries. Check the charging time and the run time on the product page. Then look at the waterproof rating. It tells you how you can clean it, and whether it can go in the bath. Our care guide covers cleaning step by step.
A simple way to decide
Pick the sensation you are curious about. Check the material is named. Choose controls you can work out without the manual. Everything else is detail.
Isla, for example, is a wand with a clear digital display and a flexible neck, and it is splashproof. If you would rather start somewhere else, our range is small on purpose, so you are not choosing from hundreds of near-identical options.
betterbmy sells products for adults aged 18 and over. This guide is general information, not medical advice. If you have a health concern, talk to your doctor or nurse.